Faded Beauty...

The dried roses still sit on the window sill, still 'occupy' the fluted asymetrical green glass vase from so long ago...
Now I can't even recall how they arrived ... I don't know if I bought them or they were a gift, for a special occasion, or just because, but I do know that they were here 'before' ... Before that day when the world seemed to change, the day when dreams were shattered in a few words, the day that now seems pretty distant, but certainly holds no memory of beauty ... But the roses do, their dark dusky deep pink, some with heads bowed, some forthright ... I think in their faded beauty, in their obstinance to exist they have claimed the crown ... A crown of faded beauty, a crown of being, knowing, companionship in an odd way ... So still they sit, like paper, scent less, but still to me alluring, still with a promise of something ... A what if, a rewind, a presence ...

Thinking Time ...

How prophetic the blog title ... 'Tempus Fugit', where has it gone? I've just looked back at the forgotten posts - they made me smile. What takes the time? Life in all its fullness, yet that in itself is a gift, not something taken - so maybe I'm just thinking about time the wrong way - it is all a gift.
So in this time that is given to me, to care for my precious boys, to be available to those around me, how do I use a part of that gift to just think? To stop? To let my mind wonder? To be creative?
Maybe those last two words are a big part of it ... be creative ... engage in 'art' in all its forms; listen to music, partake in 'crafts', bake - for the sake of it (not just to entertain or feed the boys), record my thoughts here ... and engage with creation and the creator.

Autumn Showers

Well, well. Such a long time has passed since my last blog - tempus fugit indeed!
Autumn is hear with gusto and the tv weather forcasters are reminding us that we're looking towards winter, with our backs to the summer's sun.

Over the summer I learned a glorious new phrase "carpe arternitatum", which means ... cease eternity - do I? I'm not sure? I hope so? My trouble seems to be that in trying to cease eternity, the here and now 'gets in the way', but that sounds so wrong, I think I need to cease eternity with one hand and 'the moment' with the other - no doubt that'll mean I get pulled in all directions but it should at least be fun and will hopefully give the moments (good and bad) a context in eternity.

I've also made gingerbread pigs for the first time every - now this could be a whole new board game, I think the possibilities may be endless - stars, trees, angels for Christmas - and what else??? I can't say in itself it was 'theraputic' or anythng like that - I just need to get them done, so it was more of a ginger pig factory, but next time ... I think the autumn 'squirelling' thing has also got me - my mind has turned to food in a big way and I'm considering how to be economic, nutricious, interesting and organised -phew! Not asking too much there then. So I'm off now to plan some 'menus', and getting some dishes on the go.

Hot & Bothered!

I've been getting myself rather 'hot and bothered' recently over other people's actions (mostly I have to say people close to me!). And then I read this: "Anger comes from our selfishness. The antidote to anger is compassion: when we take time to think about the person who is causing our anger and understand where they are coming from our anger melts and we feel completely differently about the situation. We can forgive and move on." How right? So very often our anger is an overreaction: will it really affect us that much if...? Answer: Probably not!

Content?!

I love to read, before I was a mum I read loads - anything, now magazines are good but it takes me a full month, and often a little bit longer to get through them in snatched moments! Recently, every magazine I seem to have picked up has had a piece in it about either the changes of becoming a 'stay at home' mum, or acheiving a good 'work life balance', or not feeling too guilty about stuff and accepting (as a mum) that 'good enough' is ok! I lap these articles up, and of course dream of writing one myself, but how interesting would my story be? Mildly may be pushing it, because the reality is that actually I am content with what I have! I've gone from professional, to mummy, but I've retained a bit of the former (half a day a week), and have leapt into the later. Not that being content means it's easy, but it means it's generally good!

New Dawn

So this is what it feels like to have 'a blog' - my own space on the worldwide web!!!